July 18, 2014
I wish everything in life was easier. I know if things in life were easy it wouldn’t be worthwhile. Right now I’m double-sided about so many things. Last year we moved to Dryden, Ontario. I was thankful to see Thompson in the rear-view mirror. I’m still thankful to be out of there. I miss my best friend, Gaylene, I miss the museum and I miss the incomes that Mike and I made.
We moved to Dryden on a chance. We didn’t buy the book store, like I was wanting, someone else bought it. Living in Dryden is great, beautiful, peaceful and so much better than where I grew up…except jobs are not so plentiful here as they are in Thompson. I’ve worked at two jobs since I’ve been here and I’ve made the least amount of money, imaginable. However, because I’m making so little I’m able to go back to school, full-time and funded, in September. After months of being fickle, I’ve finally decided on taking Office Administration. I’m grateful for the opportunity to go back to school. Hopefully the funding will be approved.
Eight years ago I started writing a novel and I finished it two and a half years ago. Over the last two and a half years I’ve re-written it more than twice. Last year, December 23, 2013, I learned that a house wanted to publish my novel. I was grateful; everything I’ve dreamed of was coming true. I felt I was finally going to be someone. Now I’m distressed. The editors of the publishing house want me to totally change the way I write and delete more than a quarter of the book. I’m grateful I’m strong enough to stop being their puppet, even if means they might decide not to publish my book. I refuse to bend and to make any more sacrifices. I’d rather publish the book myself than butcher it any more. Grateful? Yes, I’ll consider this a learning experience, someday.
I’m talking to my dad again after seventeen years. Forgiveness is a powerful gift. A childhood of emotional abuse led to an adulthood of more emotional abuse, (until eight years ago) but I’m still grateful.
Our cat, Princess died May 23, 2013. She didn’t get to see Ontario. I would’ve been happy if she stayed with us longer. I’m grateful she isn’t in pain any more.
My boys, Will and Scott are still with me and I’m grateful for that. I’ll always be grateful for them.
To be insured to drive the truck, in Ontario would cost a small fortune, so I’m not driving and I’m not grateful about it. I am, however, grateful for my electric bike that I purchased last month and it doesn’t need to be insured. If only it didn’t snow in the winter. I’m grateful Will has a walker now. Too bad he won’t be able to use it in the winter either. Maybe in the spring I’ll get him a four wheel scooter.
I’m scared and worried about the next year of my life but I’m still excited, and as always, grateful. Freedom, always and forever I’ll be grateful for.